How would you feel/react if you got a call from your fiance 10 minutes before your wedding and he told you he couldn't marry you because he was gay, and in love with another man and would always be looking for opportunities to be with him?
I would be in complete shock. But shortly after I would be extremly angry. Here I have been dating this man for however long and he just now decides to tell me he is gay. Whats up with that? Could he not have told me before the wedding day or not have proposed. It would have been a money saver and would have saved me a ton of humiliation.
I think at first I wouldn't take him seriously, I mean, come'on, that almost sounds like a lame excuse to get out of the commitment of marriage at the last possible minute. However, if what he was telling me was really the truth, I think I would be more embarrassed and angry than upset at first. Think of all the explaing you would owe your family and friends who were expecting a wedding.. Eventually, I would be sad though, I mean, if I were planning on marrying the guy, obviously I had great feelings for him and I'm sure I would miss him dearly but I would much rather him be happy than living a lie and cheating.
I'm thinking that I would probably be really embarrassed that I hadn't been able to tell sooner that the man I was supposed to marry was gay. After I had gotten over that I'm not sure what I would think. Who wants to think that they turned someone gay? Be that the actual case or not. What I'm really curious about is if you would be able to somehow stay friends with this person. You had planned to spend the rest of your life with him, I don't know, but I would think that those kinds of feelings don't just disappear. But it would also be understandable that you would be seriously hurt after that kind of betrayal.
In the book she says that when she first met this guy (he was the principal at the school she taught at) there were rumors that he might be gay, b/c he had been there 7 years and they had never seen him with anyone, but after he asked her out she didn't believe them, besides he said he was a Christian and he felt very strongly about purity, so he never tried anything (that should have been her first clue). She said that when he called he was crying and told her he had struggled with it all his life (they had 300 guests waiting outside, her mom went and told them there was a change of plans, and eventually this girl just told her family and friends he got cold feet) at the end it says he moved to San Francisco (they lived in Denver)and was getting help.
I would not be looking for any chances to be with him. I would probably never want to talk to him again and try to delete him from my life. If he truly cared about me in any way then he would of told me he was gay as soon as he figured it out or at least not waited until 10 minutes before our wedding started...and a phone call really?! This whole ordeal is heartbreaking enough, but to not take the time to tell me in person means he must not of cared for me very much. What kind of person would hurt someone like that? I completely understand that he shouldn't of married her if he was gay, but if he cared about her then he wouldn't of told her like that. I would be at a complete loss...not only did I waste all this time and money, I am heartbroken, the man I love and planned on spending my entire life with stood me up infront of all our friends and family (that's embarrassing enough), but to find out he's gay and you had no idea this entire time...I just couldn't imagine want that would feel like.
Wow this is so sad! I would be sad, mad, and embarrassed all at the same time! At first I would be mad and think that he was trying to find his way out of the wedding that he no longer loved me and wanted a way out and was being mean and trying to think of the worst possible way to break up with me.... Then I would attempt to see his way, I would try to understand what he must have been going through lying all this time to cover up, but that would also make me angry because he was only using me to cover his own butt! That would fill me with anger! Then I would be sooooo embarrassed because, like Eddi said, I wouldn't want to have the feeling that I turned him gay! People might talk about it and that would be so humiliating! Poor girl!!
omg...that is so hard. I would never speak to him again, and make him pay for everything at the "almost" wedding. Then I would kick him out and have all my friends and family enjoy the all-ready-paid rehersal, and try to forget that he broke my heart. I would be extremely hurt because he lied to me and almost tied me down to an unstable relationship.
i would be very very upset but i think i would feel more stupid than upset because i didnt detect it sooner. i mean, how do you not know something like that? and why would he have been in a relationship with a woman if he was gay all along? i mean i understand cover ups but he shouldnt have said he would marry her if it was all a lie
I would be in complete shock. But shortly after I would be extremly angry. Here I have been dating this man for however long and he just now decides to tell me he is gay. Whats up with that? Could he not have told me before the wedding day or not have proposed. It would have been a money saver and would have saved me a ton of humiliation.
ReplyDeleteI think at first I wouldn't take him seriously, I mean, come'on, that almost sounds like a lame excuse to get out of the commitment of marriage at the last possible minute.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if what he was telling me was really the truth, I think I would be more embarrassed and angry than upset at first. Think of all the explaing you would owe your family and friends who were expecting a wedding..
Eventually, I would be sad though, I mean, if I were planning on marrying the guy, obviously I had great feelings for him and I'm sure I would miss him dearly but I would much rather him be happy than living a lie and cheating.
I'm thinking that I would probably be really embarrassed that I hadn't been able to tell sooner that the man I was supposed to marry was gay. After I had gotten over that I'm not sure what I would think. Who wants to think that they turned someone gay? Be that the actual case or not. What I'm really curious about is if you would be able to somehow stay friends with this person. You had planned to spend the rest of your life with him, I don't know, but I would think that those kinds of feelings don't just disappear. But it would also be understandable that you would be seriously hurt after that kind of betrayal.
ReplyDeleteIn the book she says that when she first met this guy (he was the principal at the school she taught at) there were rumors that he might be gay, b/c he had been there 7 years and they had never seen him with anyone, but after he asked her out she didn't believe them, besides he said he was a Christian and he felt very strongly about purity, so he never tried anything (that should have been her first clue). She said that when he called he was crying and told her he had struggled with it all his life (they had 300 guests waiting outside, her mom went and told them there was a change of plans, and eventually this girl just told her family and friends he got cold feet) at the end it says he moved to San Francisco (they lived in Denver)and was getting help.
ReplyDeleteI would not be looking for any chances to be with him. I would probably never want to talk to him again and try to delete him from my life. If he truly cared about me in any way then he would of told me he was gay as soon as he figured it out or at least not waited until 10 minutes before our wedding started...and a phone call really?! This whole ordeal is heartbreaking enough, but to not take the time to tell me in person means he must not of cared for me very much. What kind of person would hurt someone like that? I completely understand that he shouldn't of married her if he was gay, but if he cared about her then he wouldn't of told her like that.
ReplyDeleteI would be at a complete loss...not only did I waste all this time and money, I am heartbroken, the man I love and planned on spending my entire life with stood me up infront of all our friends and family (that's embarrassing enough), but to find out he's gay and you had no idea this entire time...I just couldn't imagine want that would feel like.
Wow this is so sad! I would be sad, mad, and embarrassed all at the same time! At first I would be mad and think that he was trying to find his way out of the wedding that he no longer loved me and wanted a way out and was being mean and trying to think of the worst possible way to break up with me.... Then I would attempt to see his way, I would try to understand what he must have been going through lying all this time to cover up, but that would also make me angry because he was only using me to cover his own butt! That would fill me with anger! Then I would be sooooo embarrassed because, like Eddi said, I wouldn't want to have the feeling that I turned him gay! People might talk about it and that would be so humiliating! Poor girl!!
ReplyDeleteomg...that is so hard. I would never speak to him again, and make him pay for everything at the "almost" wedding. Then I would kick him out and have all my friends and family enjoy the all-ready-paid rehersal, and try to forget that he broke my heart. I would be extremely hurt because he lied to me and almost tied me down to an unstable relationship.
ReplyDeletei would be very very upset but i think i would feel more stupid than upset because i didnt detect it sooner. i mean, how do you not know something like that? and why would he have been in a relationship with a woman if he was gay all along? i mean i understand cover ups but he shouldnt have said he would marry her if it was all a lie
ReplyDelete